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Things Men Own that Women Throw Away

croc skull
WBLM

According to a recent survey here are the top things men own that women throw away:

Your nasty holey stained clothes, your wrecked furniture, things you consider to be “art”, your huge sound system that ruins the flow of the room, sports memorabilia like that ratty 49ers blanket, weights that you never use, and any evidence of prior relationships.

If you notice an absence of examples of things we women like to throw away in the picture that I’ve posted, there is a simple answer for that. I have been married to Mark for ten years, he has nothing left. The culling began long before marriage when I replaced almost his entire wardrobe for his birthday the first year we were together. He didn’t even blink. What a good sport. These two pieces that I present to you in the above photo are the skull of some crocodile or alligator and a metal sculpture of a coiled snake with a frog in his mouth. These are his pride and joy and reside on his desk way high up on the third floor. The snake thing is hard to see because it falls over. Yes, it can not even stand on its own. This amuses me. Now, Mark is easy going, but he is not slow. I could not find even one of his repulsive t-shirts. He has hidden them from me. Sneaky monkey. My least favorite off the top of my head, is a black t-shirt with glow in the dark skeletons having sex in many different positions. I have been hunting it for 11 years. Mark is aware of this and has it properly hidden from my prying, editing eyes. Ooh! I forgot to check the top shelf of the closet under his pajama pants! Gotta go!
P.S.
I do absolutely draw the line at throwing away music. Even if it’s Helloween or that band that plays the terrible song about bodies hitting the floor. Ladies, what have you thrown away? Does he even know? Was there fall-out? Answer on our Fanpage!

Hide your treasures boys,

Celeste

 

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