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This Is What’s Wrong About The FIFA World Cup

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The 2014 FIFA World Cup is over and Germany is the winner. Yay! I didn’t watch a second of it. I’ve tried watching soccer before and it’s just a boring game to me. Boredom however is not the REAL problem with the World Cup. It’s the trophy!

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Look at how tiny that is! I’ve seen bigger trophies given away at Little League baseball games.

According to CBC Sports the FIFA World Cup Trophy is 14.5 inches high, weighs 13 pounds and is made of solid, 18-carat gold. It looks pretty ugly too. Maybe we American’s are spoiled by trophies for other sporting events.

Here’s how some others compare.

NFL – Vince Lombardi Trophy

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HEIGHT: 22 inches
WEIGHT: 7 pounds
MATERIAL: Sterling Silver

The trophy for American’s most popular sport weighs less than the World Cup trophy because it’s silver and not gold, but it’s 7 and a half inches taller and looks much cooler in Tom Brady’s hand.

NBA – Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy

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HEIGHT: 24 inches
WEIGHT: 14.5 pounds
MATERIAL: Sterling silver and vermeil with a 24 karat gold overlay 

Two feet tall. Just tall enough to be able to lift over your head with two hands. The Celtics used to do this on a regular basis. Those were the days.

MLB – Commissioner’s Trophy

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HEIGHT: 24 inches (excluding the base)
WEIGHT: Approx. 30 pounds
MATERIAL: Sterling silver with gold plated flags

Now we’re getting somewhere. You need two hands to hold a 30 pound trophy after winning the World Series. Luckily it didn’t take the Red Sox another 86 years to remember what it felt like.

NHL – Stanley Cup

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HEIGHT: 35.25 inches
WEIGHT: 35 pounds
MATERIAL: Silver and nickel alloy

I think the photo and stats say it all. That’s a trophy people.


We can have the debate about pinball qualifying as a sport another time. Look at that trophy!! Bowen Kerins, the winner of the Professional Amateur Pinball Association World Championship tournament won this piece of serious hardware! That kicks ass!


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The pinball trophy just laughs at the unfashionable jacket and tiny house.


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