An Apology Letter to the Maine Woman and Anyone Else That Took My Words to Heart

It's funny, really. Because I've always been told I'm a decent writer. And actually, I've been told that I'm better than decent -- I've been told I'm great.

And I actually really love writing, especially when I'm passionate about the topic I'm writing about or can really have fun with it. But here's the irony.

I also hate the written word because of how much it can be misconstrued (especially text messages) because you can't always hear the tone with which some words are meant. And that's what happened in this instance.

So, to you, Wendy -- I apologize. Now, let me explain why.

New York Post Columnist Cindy Adams

The woman pictured above is Cindy Adams. Maine should be very, very familiar with her since almost a year ago, she dedicated one of her New York Post columns to taking a steaming crap on all of us. No need to rehash, because this isn't about her, this is about Wendy.

Last week, I rehashed the open letter clapback I wrote in response to Cindy's article right after her column came out -- a rehash that Wendy saw. A rehash that drove Wendy to email me with her concerns about it.

The woman was clearly a rude idiot but I find your constant references to wrinkles and old age used as insults pretty much insulting anyone who is aging. Something that will happen to us all and makes women who are already judged harshly on appearance feel like s***.

I responded to Wendy's concerns in an email back to her, but considering other Mainers may have been offended by my "constant references to wrinkles and old age used as insults" -- let me first off say that, along with Wendy, I apologize to you, too.

I'm not even going to try and explain my way out of it. I own the fact that I went in hard on Cindy in that clapback, and I intentionally stooped to her level because sometimes, you just need to. If she's going to call us all fat, insult our extra-padding butts, our fashion sense, and everything else -- she deserves to be torn down a bit too in the same way.

That said. Please. Please understand that my age and appearance insults to Cindy do not even come close to reflecting how I feel about any woman (or man, for that matter) of a certain age in general. That was very much just a bunch of smack talk directed solely at her.

I pride myself on veering very far away from the usual stuff we're exposed to on a daily (hourly, actually) basis -- negative news. Attacks on social media. Complaints. Insults. I loudly try and go in the exact opposite direction and create fun, laughter -- and most importantly -- massive confidence boosts.

But all that said, again, I apologize to Wendy and anyone else that took my insults directed toward Cindy as general insults toward anyone who have more life experience than others.

Because trust me, as a dude that's developing enough baggage under his eyes to take all of Maine on a six-month vacation, that's not in the realm of something I'd intentionally do.

For the record, though, I still think Cindy Adams is a sucknugget.