Why Is This Nightmare-Fuel Creature in Maine, and What the Hell is It?

I will say that this scary-looking spider stopped me in my tracks when I saw this up in Aroostook County, Maine.

The very distinctive markings make this pretty large spider look like it would be dangerous. And who knows! Maybe it is since I couldn't find anything on the internet that looked like it.

The internet told me this was a furrow spider spotted in Maine.

When I did the 'take a picture and let Google figure it out' thing, it told me it was a furrow spider. The furrow spider and this wild-looking thing appear to be about the same size (the body was a bit bigger than a quarter) but they don't look like each other at all!

This is the kind of spider that could give a person nightmares.  But the scariest part is that I have no idea what it is. Nothing bad happened and I didn't disturb this Beetlejuice-looking thing, because no matter how scary it has a right to live.

Does anyone have a clue what this spider is found in Maine?

This thing looks prehistoric! I have never seen anything like it and I've seen my fair share of black widows! They aren't half as scary looking as this thing! Those legs! He's doing an excellent job of blending in and ready to eat my face off.

Maine does not have a lot of poisonous spiders. There's the black widow, wolf spider, and the brown recluse. None of these are native to Maine, but we could have some thanks to sneaking onto shipping crates. But that still doesn't tell me...what the hell is this?