Dear Star Wars Cosplayer Who Rode the Subway in Boston With a Toy Rifle,

As Yoda might say, “Thinking, what the hell were you?”

In case you’ve been under a rock – or in a galaxy far, far…far, far, far away – you may have heard that the United States has had some trouble when it comes to large crowds and firearms.

And, as you were (I guess) dressed as Boba Fett – a character that blends the cape stylings of Batman with the helmets of Daft Punk – I’m sure you can now surmise why you may have startled other passengers while using a means of transportation that, let’s face it, is already quite frightening.

Hey, you wanna dress up? Have fun. Plenty of New Englanders have led double-lives, from a high-ranking spy right here on the New Hampshire Seacoast to legendary author (and Maine’s favorite son) Stephen King.

But here’s the difference, Boba: in neither instance did the person enter a place of mass transit, in a major U.S. city, carrying a fairly realistic-looking firearm – in the year 2023.

As there are many Star Wars characters from which to choose, allow me to present a couple alternates. Perhaps you could dress up as R2-D2. Might this result in commuters mistaking you for a garbage can and disposing of their cigarettes on your head?

Yes, that’s a possibility. So maybe you go as C-3PO. With that gold outfit, those same commuters could mistake you for a subway performer and give you some change. Which you could then use to take to your party (far, far away).

Star Wars Day will be here before you know it, Star Wars Subway Cosplayer. May the Fourth Be With You! And maybe bring one of those toy lightsabers instead, huh?

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