Ultimate Pats Fan With 9 Hilarious New Names For Man Junk [NSFW]

If you're like me, you've likely had it up to here with the pounding of new phrases like "unprecedented times" or "we're in this together".

Yes they are and yes we are. But I don't need to hear it every time I turn around. Enough already. We get it.

The other phrase that seems to be in heavy rotation lately is "welcome to the new normal". This one also grinds my gears a bit.

So you can imagine my delight to come across a new video from our old pal Fitzy the Ultimate Pats Fan.

It's always comforting to find someone to commiserate with when shit gets to be too much.

This is a hilarious outtake of the latest Shit Pats Fans Say: Quarantine Edition. Fitzy and his best buddy Kip are hanging in the backyard for some socially distant beer enjoyment.

Fitzy delivers 9 hilarious new names for man junk and prefaced with,

"Next time some dude says welcome to the new normal, I'm gonna punch him right in the...."

Here are the 9 new names Fitzy comes up with.

1. Pork Sword
2. Ham Javelin
3. Bro Hose
4. Hairy Goal Post
5. Pink Snuffleupagus
6. Ol' One Eye
7. Scroto Baggins
8. Guy Rope
9. (and my favorite) Tinkle stick

Check out the video. It's even funnier to watch as they bust a gut laughing with each other.

Here's the latest Shit Pats Fans Say: Quarantine Edition so we can commiserate further in the off season that saw Brady go to Tampa and bring Gronk out of retirement with him. Because after all, these are "unprecedented times" and "we're in this together".